Starting Over (New Beginnings #1) Read online

  "Yeah, okay."

  It took more than one attempt. A lot more than one attempt, but eventually Ash managed to get herself sitting back in the canoe. Connor spun his canoe around and faced the end of it to Ash.

  "Hold it down for me if you can, and I'll do the same thing."

  Ash leant over and put her hands on the back of Connor’s canoe, but as he went to jump up at the other end, the back end of his canoe bounced up under the side of Ash's and tipped it over. Ash went sprawling, arms waving frantically, back into the water. She came up sputtering again and laughing harder than she could remember having laughed in forever.

  It took them a few more goes each, before they both managed to get back into their canoes. Ash had tears rolling down her cheeks from laughing so hard by the time they finally started rowing back to the house. Connor was still chuckling quietly five minutes later, but when Ash turned back to him and started laughing again, he couldn't help but do the same.

  They were still chuckling intermittently when they finally made it back to the house.

  When they walked into the dining room together everyone was already in the middle of lunch so they quickly made themselves some sandwiches and Ash headed over to join the girls. They had already made up with Adam and were sitting with him and Bianca. Kids were good like that. They didn't hold a grudge for long.

  Hayden had watched Connor and Ash enter the room together with huge grins plastered on their faces. He sat brooding silently, shovelling his food absently into his mouth.

  "Are you okay there, big bro?" Ruby asked.

  "What...? Oh, yeah."

  "Looks like they had fun." She said gesturing towards Ash.

  Hayden turned, glaring at his sister.

  "That's what I thought." she said as she got up and walked away.

  Ash sat down in the seat Ruby had vacated.

  "Is everything okay? You don't look very happy." Ash asked.

  "What…? Nah, I'm okay. Did you have fun?" he asked, turning to face her.

  Ash started laughing. “I had a ball. It was hilarious." Ash said. "Halfway back I decided to jump out for a swim. I tricked Connor into joining me and then we struggled to get back into the canoes from the middle of the lake." She proceeded to tell him all about their exploits as they tried in vain to get back into the canoes. By the end of the story she had Hayden laughing uproariously along with her, and Connor glaring at them from the other side of the room.

  ****

  Ash was laying on one of the lounge chairs beside the pool while the girls played. She had her iPad resting on her knees while she read one of her recent Amazon freebies on the Kindle app. Free Kindle books were the best.

  Hayden was lying in the chair beside her, engrossed in some computer magazine he was flicking through.

  Connor came up beside her and lifted the iPad out of her hands and passed it quickly to Hayden.

  "Hey, I was reading that. What do you think you're doing?" Ash asked.

  "Payback, as they say, is a bitch." Connor said.

  "What?" Ash asked, before following with, "No, you wouldn't dare." as the realization of what he planned hit her. "Hayden, you're not going to let him do this are you?" she begged.

  Hayden raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders.

  "Really? Not even a little help?"

  He shrugged again.

  "How did it go?" Connor asked, a twinkle in his eye. "By choice or not Ash!"

  "No, come on Connor, please."

  "The easy way or the hard way Ash?"

  "No way, please Connor." she begged.

  "The hard way it is." Connor said, bending down and sweeping her up and over his shoulder in one swoop.

  Ash squealed. "Put me down Connor, please don't do this!"

  Ash wanted to kick and squirm but she was worried he might drop her on her head.

  Beth came up beside them.

  "What are you doing to my Mummy?" she asked with concern.

  "Beth honey, can you help Mummy please. Tickle Connor so he puts me down."

  "Or Beth, you could help Connor throw Mum in the pool so she can swim with you."

  "What? No!" Ash yelled.

  "Sarah come and help us throw Mummy in the pool so she can swim with us," Beth called out.

  Connor turned his head and realized his mistake as he noticed how close to her backside his face now was. Next, he noticed his arm wrapped around the top of her thighs with his hand resting just below her backside. All he wanted to do was squeeze. He took quick purposeful strides towards the pool and jumped in with her still over his shoulder. His original plan was to drop her in the pool, but in light of recent events he decided it was better to jump in with her before somebody noticed what was happening in his pants.

  Ash came up laughing and splashing Connor, only to have the girls’ bomb them both in fits of giggles.

  Connor stayed in the pool playing with Ash and the girls for about ten minutes before he had to excuse himself to go and organize dinner.

  "Hayden, come and play with us." Beth called.

  He didn't have to be asked twice.

  ****

  Chapter 9.

  Ash stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom carefully applying her mascara. She had pulled her hair back into an angled French braid that finished up in a plait over her left shoulder. Her eyes were a smoky silver gray that emphasized the blue, and her lips were coated in a subtle coral colour. The dress she wore was one of her favourites. Mark had loved it at the time but he would freak out if he saw her in it now. It was about three seasons out of fashion, but it was a stunning little black dress. A simplistic mix of sequins and lace it was short, but not too short so she looked like a hooker, just short enough to show off her long legs. And although it was fitted, it wasn't so tight she couldn't move. She had only packed this dress because Hayden had said to bring something dressy just in case. Obviously he knew his cousin and sister. Deb and Ruby had decided that at least one formal dinner was required over the course of the weekend, and if Ash was being truthful she had to admit that she loved it. She couldn't remember the last time she had had an opportunity to get dressed up, definitely not since Mark left.

  She pushed the door closed and stood in front of the full length mirror behind it, satisfied with what she saw. She felt sexy, and was sure Connor would be drooling tonight.

  Connor noticed her as soon as she stepped into the dining room, she was a vision; the dark dress and eyes in stark comparison to her fair skin and blond hair, the plait falling over her shoulder that he desperately wanted to grab hold of while he kissed her senseless. He was at her mercy and he was sure that she knew it.

  Ash felt Connor’s stare burning on her when she walked into the room, but if she thought she was going have him drooling, she was totally unprepared for what she felt when she caught sight of him. Like the girls, the guys too had dressed up, and didn't he cut a sight in a suit. It was obviously tailor made as it fit him to perfection. It was a charcoal colour with the finest pinstripes and a deep blue shirt underneath. He didn't wear a tie and the top few buttons of the shirt were undone, exposing the top of his chest and the tiniest hint of hair that she wanted to run her fingertips through. She wasn't sure she would be able to get through the night with him looking like that; it was going to be a long night.

  By dessert, Ash had made up her mind. She was tired of watching Connor from a distance, after dinner she was going to do something about it. She was a grown woman, and she was certain he was attracted to her too, she had witnessed the proof of her suspicion a few times over the weekend, but she was pretty sure his loyalty to Hayden was going to stop him from acting on it unless she made the first move. She met his eyes across the table and lifted the strawberry off the top of her dessert and sucked the excess chocolate off of the top of it. She knew it was a rather sensual act and hoped he'd get the idea. Connor’s eyes widened in reply and Ash smiled at him and then turned back to Deb beside her.

  Connor didn't even finish his
dessert, he couldn't keep eating his strawberries after witnessing Ash eating hers, it was a simple gesture, but so erotic, he had to get away from everyone. He needed some space before he went caveman on her arse and dragged her straight across the table and down the hall to his room where he wanted to lock her in forever. He walked out onto the deck and down the back stairs where he stood starting out over the blackness of the lake trying to get the thoughts of Ash out of his head so his blood stopped pulsing straight to his groin.

  Ash watched him get up from the table and walk out of the room, disappointment flooded through her as she worried that maybe he really wasn't interested in her at all. She started shelving her idea of going to him tonight when Deb whispered in her ear;

  "Damn girl, I know I said to make him work for it, but that's harsh."

  "What?"

  "You've got him so twisted up. If you don't put him out of his misery soon I think he might combust."

  "Really? I got the impression he isn't all that interested. "

  "Trust me, he's interested."

  ****

  After tucking the girls into bed, Ash went and had her shower. She was painfully conflicted, wanting to stay away from Connor but needing to go and find him. She towelled off and pulled on some clean underwear before wringing the excess water out of the bottom of her plait, she had kept her hair as dry as possible but it always got a little bit wet in the shower. She put some perfume on, a small amount, and grabbed her satin wrap off the hook beside the door. It was a bit on the short side, but she only had to sneak down the hall a little bit. Deb had pointed out Connor’s room earlier in the day, not very subtly either, so she knew exactly where she was going. The girls were already asleep when she came out of the bathroom so she took a deep breath, opened the bedroom door, and walked out into the hall.

  Connor stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist. His hair was still dripping but he didn't care. He was so wound up after watching Ash in a bikini all day. Okay, so she had pointed out that technically it was just a two piece because it wasn't small enough to be a bikini, but it was too damn small in his opinion and damn sexy to boot.

  He'd almost lost control totally when she'd lifted the knitted dress over her head while they were on the island. Then she walked to the water's edge and wadded out before diving under. When she came up dripping wet he decided that as beautiful as her blonde hair was, in darker shades, dripping down her back it was glorious. He wanted to jump in beside her and grab hold of her hair and wring out the excess water, she was simply stunning. Then to have her body further displayed to him back at the house after lunch, while she lounged around the pool and swam with the kids, he was pretty much permanently aroused the entire day; and the coup de grace, dinner, in that tight fitted dress. Argh, he was going to go insane thinking about this woman, and worst of all, was he knew that he wasn't going to able to sleep again tonight. He was just going to end up lying there, thinking about all the things he'd like to do to her body, just like he had since she got here. Then, to cap the entire day off, there were the strawberries, which was too painful to even think about.

  He stepped out of the ensuite into his bedroom and came to a sudden halt at the sight before him. Sitting on the end of his bed, wrapped in what appeared to be a very short silky dressing gown was Ash.

  Connor’s voice caught in his throat as he struggled to say anything.

  Ash held her hand up to indicate that she didn't want him to say anything anyway so instead he struggled to swallow the lump that formed in his throat while he waited for her to speak.

  "Here's the thing Connor, I want to spend the night with you."

  Oh hell, yeah, he thought.

  "But!"

  Yeah, here we go.

  "I don't do relationships, this would be about tonight, I go home tomorrow morning and that's it. No dates, no future hook-ups, one night only."

  Ash stopped and looked at Connor, waiting for his reply. He stood silently, watching her as he grew harder underneath the towel.

  Ash stood up. "Of course, if you're not interested…" she said as she glanced briefly at the towel before making her way slowly towards the door.

  Connor watched her silently until she'd almost reached the door. Then in a few quick steps he closed the gap and placed his hand on the door, holding it closed. He motioned back towards the bed.

  "Go sit back down Ash." he said, while flicking the lock on his bedroom door and slowly crossing back to the end of the bed so he was standing in front of her.

  "Tonight only." he confirmed.

  Ash nodded.

  "And if I don't agree with that?"

  "Then I'll go; no ill feelings. I'm a big girl Connor, I know what I want."

  "Too late, I’ve already locked the door."

  Ash shook her head. "It's that or nothing." she said.

  "What if I change my mind after, what if you change your mind after? What if this night is so mind-blowing that you decide you can't live without it?"

  Ash laughed out loud. "I'll take the chance. Are you in or out?" she asked as she started to untie the front of her wrap.

  Connor couldn't help himself, he couldn't stop himself. He didn't want to stop himself. He didn't want to agree with her terms but he couldn't bring himself to say no. It wasn't that he wanted a relationship with her, but he didn't want to totally veto the idea either.

  "Hayden's never going to forgive me!" he said.

  "Hayden's made his own choice." she said, opening the robe to display the tiniest silkiest pair of bra and undies he had ever seen. "Although, I will admit I didn't lay it out quite like this for him."

  He couldn't help himself, he had to have her.

  Connor leant forward and slid the robe off her shoulders as he took her lips in a passionate kiss. He leant her back on the bed, pressing over her as his tongue explored her mouth in an explosion of senses he couldn't control.

  Ash didn't hesitate; she knew this was what she wanted, more than she had ever wanted anything in her life. The kiss alone was amazing and had all her nerve endings on fire. She wanted tonight, she wanted him. He grabbed hold of the plait that had been torturing him all night and deepened the kiss even further, totally losing himself in everything that was her.

  ****

  Connor woke up with the sun peeking through the gaps in his blinds and Ash still wrapped in his arms. He felt warm and content and didn't want to move. He knew if he moved he'd wake her up and she'd leave and he hadn't had anywhere near enough of her, he lost track of how many times they had made love during the night and yet he still he needed more. He was lying with one arm under the crook of her neck and the other wrapped around her waist; he couldn't have gotten closer if he tried. His face was tucked into the back of her head, her hair so close he could smell the scent of her shampoo, citrusy, but so subtle he wanted to lay there and breathe her in all day.

  Ashe woke up feeling comfortable, warm and safe. She stirred slowly and realized there were arms wrapped around her, she tensed briefly feeling trapped, until she remembered where she was, she relaxed again but only briefly before she realized the girls will be waking up soon and notice she wasn't in her bed.

  "Morning beautiful. Yo-yoing emotions this morning?"

  Ash twisted her body so she was facing him although still wrapped in his arms.

  "What time is it?"

  "Still early." he answered, kissing her forehead. "Six-ish."

  Ash relaxed again as she realized she had at least an hour before the girls would wake, maybe even two.

  "And she's relaxes." he commented.

  "I need to get back to my room so the girls don't realize I've been gone all night."

  Ash felt Connor’s arms tighten around her.

  "Don't leave me yet." he whispered in her ear before catching it between his teeth.

  "You can't be serious!" Ash said. "Didn't you get enough during the night?"

  "Nowhere near enough baby."

  "Connor."

&
nbsp; "Don't Ash, please don't say anything. I get it. I really do. One night, and I'm fine with that, but can we still enjoy this morning and be nice to each other until you leave. I promise I won't let anyone know we spent the night together, but don't be cold towards me before you leave... Please."

  Ash didn't answer him, instead she kissed him.

  Forty minutes later, Connor checked outside his bedroom door to make sure the hall was all clear for Ash to sneak back to her own room.

  "I feel like a teenager sneaking you out of my room before my parents find out."

  "Did you do that often?"

  Connor answered with a chuckle. "You're all clear for the walk of shame."

  Ash slipped past him at his door, stopped and turned back, she placed a hand on each of his cheeks and kissed him, letting go quickly and walking away before he could entice her back into his bed.

  Ash made it back to her own room and her own bed without incident. She snuggled down feeling both pleased and melancholy at the same time. She was sure she was going to regret spending the night with Connor, but only because she missed him already, and she'd only been gone for not even five minutes. Yep definitely a big mistake, she thought as she laid there unable to go back to sleep while she waited for the girls to wake up so she could have another shower, not that she actually wanted to wash the scent of him off her body.

  Connor looked at the bed she had just left and decided there was no way he was going to be able to go back to sleep in it, without her warm body snuggled in beside him. So he decided to shower and get up. He could have an early breakfast, maybe go for a run. Yeah like that would take his mind off her, he wouldn't be able to go running ever again. He wouldn't be able to go swimming, canoeing or have sex ever again without thinking about her. He had made a mistake, a big mistake.

  ****

  Connor was still berating himself when he got to the dining room and made himself a coffee. He ducked out to the back deck to enjoy the morning, while he tried to figure out how to keep her in his life.

  Hayden didn't notice Connor walk out the doors. It was only when he turned to go back inside that they locked eyes.